America's Got Balls
by Danny and the NightWolf
Summary: An average teacher is just on his computer teaching the class some shit they'll never use in life then he got a life changing call on his phone.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Prologue**

It was a average day at Rubber High, Smoking weed in the bathroom, People almost killing each other. But Someone at the crime ridden school had a secret but everyone was in the dark about it. By day, he's a teacher but by night he is known to be the protector of the people of Ryan,Texas he is.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:The Invitation**

It was friday everyone's favorite day of the week because we don't have to be bothered by the teachers for two whole days. Mr. Floyd was on his laptop as usual watching clown midgets and old woman lesbian triple fist when he received a call from Cox saying he was able to compete in America's got talent. He packed up and told everyone in his class to choke on his balls and so they did. ran out of the classroom and slid down the rail of stairs. when he was stopped by Mr. Hodges. Him and never really got along but he was willing to try so he could leave.

"Where the hell do you think you're going"? Mr. Hodges scolded at him.

"To my car to get something". He made up a quick lie. "It's sixth period what the fuck do you need out of the car that you couldn't have gotten before". Just as those words were spoken dashed out past and he looks back to see if he was being followed and he wasn't. Mr. Floyd headed out the to one of the exits on the first floor, the door leading to the reserved parking lots for teachers. The rain had been pouring down endlessly and hard outside, which wasn't unusual since the weather had been odd in the state of Texas. He pulled out his new shirtless Tiger Woods themed umbrella he bought yesterday, opening it up to protect himself from the pounding rain.

"If anyone makes another damn comment about my pimp-ass umbrella again, my students won't be the only ones choking on my balls." He spoke out loud, his colorful eyes scanning the entire lot and saw no one was there. He hoped no one was watching him from the second floor, usually Mr. Hodges was the one giving him a hard time and the other teachers had been more polite to him due to the fact Mr. Floyd fucked up a member from ISIS not too long ago. Fucking ISIS and their hard core rage ara-bitchy attitude. He soon saw Bill, his SUV he named for some reason. As he started up his SUV and his favorite song by 2 Chainz started on repeat on his mix tape. He turned the Volume to max and you could see the blinds on the second floor open from all the classrooms.

"What kind of shitty music is Mr. Floyd listening to now?" Ms. Delgado asked Mrs. Bonaiti with a surprised look on her face.

"He told me he wanted to be hip with the kids so he listens to ..that." Mrs. Bonaiti answered awkwardly. Mr. Floyd turned to see all the windows open, holding up a middle finger to Ms. Delgado and Mrs. Bonaiti.

"Fuckers.." He called out to them before moving to the driver's seat of the car.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: First Stop:Airport!**

He began to leave Rubber high parking lot when he hit a dog by "Accident" . "God Dammit I got blood all over my tires"! he shouted as he looked to the left of where the dog died to see a little girl crying. "Hey you little shit you why the hell did you let your dog run in front of my-. He stopped to see she had the leash in her hand and the other piece under the tire where the dog is. Seeing this Mr. Floyd sped out of the parking lot and the little girl was still holding the leash and she flew toward his SUV and into the window. "Get the fuck out of my Bill little cum-rocket"! He roared out and stopped the SUV and let her out. "Keep your fucking dogs away from my car".

"You're the one who ran over my dog you golfer slut!". Mr. Floyd was shocked by her comment and shoved 8 balls down her throat forcefully. "Inhale my balls enragement child." He scolded the girl as he shoved them in there.

"That'll teach that lil fucker". He said to himself and drove toward McDonald's because he was hungry. Ball obsessed golfers were always hungry for some fast food. He pulled up to the drive way, cutting off other drivers that were waiting patiently but his fucks were not given. They all honked their horns and cursed at him.

"What the hell?!" A large man called out. Mr. Floyd ignored him and spoke to the drive-thru menu.

"Yeah give me a McNuggets and fries for free or prepare your mouth for these hard balls that my kids enjoy!" He threatened, having his arm leaned on his car.

"You're fucking disgusting dude, pull up to the second window." The woman spoke on the speaker, sounding very uneasy and did not like balls at all. Mr. Floyd sped up to the second window, putting his shades on and glared at the woman from behind them.

"Hurry up, woman give me my shit then get back in the kitchen." He said to her before suddenly a brick in a McDonald's bag was thrown to his glorious face. The woman laughed ratchetly.

"Oh hail no im coming in there balls deep!" Mr. Floyd flew out of his car like Shrek and shoved his entire collection of gold and nipples from tiger woods themed golf balls in her throat. She choked on them pleasurably and he took his food and jumped back in his car.

"Im getting tired of this shit already.." He said in annoyance before driving off quickly on to the highway. Mr. Floyd started to eat his fries while driving at 80 mph and listening to Justin Bieber. "Hopefully no one will hear this". He said as he looked to his right to see a man laughing at him. "Well, fuck". He put his head down and turned the volume down a little and out of nowhere Mr. Hodges showed up. "Getting something out of your car hmmm"? He questioned. "I had to also get a new tire". Mr. Floyd Lied. "Hold up a second i heard bullshit coming out my earpiece". semi-joked. Hearing this sped up and threw McNuggets at him and it was super effective. "That was close now time to go show off my skills". Thought to himself as he drove to the airport. When he made it to the airport he had to get his balls checked and unfortunately he had to leave behind his copy of Drag Your Ball Z on blu-ray. when he went to go retrieve his luggage he saw Gilbert by himself and he looked like he was searching for someone. "What the fuck are you doing Gilbert"? asked but he didn't really care. "I'm looking for my mom". Gilbert said worried. "Well, check my apartment". said seriously. "That's not funny i think they left me". Gilbert looked really sad. "Fine, you can come with me and if your parents are looking for you i'll contact them but you better not mess up my chance of being the will of America's got talent". said sternly. "Ok". Gilbert exclaimed excited.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: The trip of a lifetime.**

Gilbert boarded the plane and sat in the coach section.

"Mr. Floyd why are you so cheap"? Gilbert asked.

"You're lucky i even let you come with me smart-ass, first class is too fucking expensive"! Mr. Floyd yelled as he looked behind him and the same little girl that had her dog ran over. "Hey, remember me you sperm-dumpster". Mr. Floyd teased. "Mommy, that's the fucker that ran over my dog and made me choke on his balls!" The little girl cried out.

"What gives you the right to talk to my daughter like that?!" The mother scolded. Mr. Floyd sighed and shove 16 balls down her throat and 8 in the little girl's. They choked on them and fainted from how big they were.

"There now don't bother me for this whole fucking trip because I need my beauty sleep". Mr. Floyd said calmly as he put his ear-buds in and started listening to Pierce The Veil. Gilbert on the other hand was up to no good. He glanced at Mr. Floyd before stood up, trying to be sneaky but the little bitch fell down and caused the plane to go into turbulence since he was fat. It began to plummet down the sky.

"Oh my bad!" Gilbert called out but no one heard him due to the screams and the alarms going off. Mr. Floyd grunted in annoyance from all the screaming and stood up. He didn't care that his ride was going to crash in the next few seconds probably.

"God damn people!" He says before he stuffed his clown midget balls in everyone's mouths so they would stop screaming.

"Finally now I can-" he couldnt finish since the plane had crashed, everything got black and silent.

5 Hours Later

As the old man began coming back into reality, he heard the voices from another language. They sounded very familiar.

"iejfiekgokgsoijso" one of them spoke. Oh no.. Arabic…

"heecheeheeecheesepuuppuucheese." another one spoke. Mr. Floyd opened his eyes to see the plane tragically destroyed, there were a few fires and peoples bodies laying around him. Luckily his balls were still kept tight in their throats. Gilbert sat up looking around.

"I think the plane crashed because of me...oh well!" He said making Mr. Floyd give him a weird look. Suddenly Mr. Floyds hands suddenly grip Gilbert by his fat throat and started shaking him.

"YOU. SON. OF. A BITCH! YOU REALIZED WHAT YOU HAVE DONE?!" He screamed at Gilbert. "...NOW HOW AM I GOING TO GET TO LAS VEGAS?!" The people that survived the crash were staring at them and the mysterious Arabic speakers held their guns at them. It turned out to be ISIS.

"Is that what you really care about? You are not even grateful of being alive?" one of the ISIS members spoke.

"Okay shit lord shut the fuck up before i shove 70 balls down your throat i'm trying to be pissed off at one of my students!" Mr. Floyd replied and lets go of Gilbert's throat.

"Gil-bitch, these ISIS douche-nozzles are going to try to kill us so we need to fight the Hell back!" He pulls out his golden golf putt he "borrowed" from Tiger Woods the other day.

"You got it you old sack of shit!" Gilbert cheerfully replies before he took off his leather belt, and thrashed it like a whip.

"Can't whoop me~!" He teased the ISIS members and they all get angry. They began shooting at them and cursing at them.

"Die Americans! Your president is next!" One of them yelled out as they fired their gun.

"Inhale my balls raging bitch!" He yells back at them as he jumped 20 feet in the air, his eyes glowing and dust circling around him like the magical anime girl he is on the inside. He started throwing down his rainbow balls in super sonic speed, hitting the ISIS members one by one. Most of them had fallen and the other ones tried shooting Mr. Floyd down. Gilbert had found a pig from somewhere and rode on it quickly toward the remaining ISIS.

"YEE HAWWW!" He roars out as he throws his belt like a damn lasso and it ties all the other ISIS members together like cattle. Mr. Floyd jumped down and kicked one of the men in the balls for being an asshole.

"Alright we won fan-fucking-tastic now lets go find another way to Las Vegas." He says before walking away as if none of this was a big deal. If he had to deal with anymore ISIS he would be so done with life.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: A Greasy Situation**

Mr. Floyd and Gilbert looks around to see that they are in the middle of nowhere.

"Wait, why the fuck did you transform like a magical anime girl?" Gilbert Questioned.

"Because, That's my dream dammit!" Mr. Floyd snapped.

"Well, SORRY." Gilbert said with grief.

"Anyway, do you see the road?" Mr. Floyd asked.

"Yeah, like an hour ago but you didn't ask then." Gilbert said faintly.

"YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Mr. Floyd scolded.

"Can't whoop me!" Gilbert teased.

"I would if i didn't go to jail afterwards!" Mr. Floyd said with so much restraint.

"I can still see the road if you were wondering." Gilbert said with a smug. "YOU FUCKING ABANDONED FETUS!" Mr. Floyd shouted in rage. As they walked towards the road they saw a nicely built brick house with a large barn surrounded by cattle.

"Hey, these people have a truck maybe they'll take us." Gilbert pointed out.

"Really? Are you sure you didn't see that an hour ago?" Mr. Floyd asked enraged.

"I said I was sorry, you fucktard!" Gilbert yelled as he looked over to the house to see a guy with a cowboy hat and an ugly smile approaching them.

"Howdy folks, is there something i can help ya with?" The man said looking at Gilbert suggestively, tilting his hat up a bit to get a better look at the young boy.

"Umm, we need a ride to Las Vegas." Gilbert said uncomfortably.

"Sure, but you're going to have to do something for me first." The man said rubbing his nipples in a circular motion, winking at Gilbert.

"Have fun Gilbert". Mr. Floyd said not knowing what he actually ment by 'something'. Mr. Floyd sat in a chair on the front porch and started listening to Taylor Swift on his phone

*3 Hours Later*

"Come on I swear it''ll be quick." The man begged.

"Aww HELL NO!" Gilbert shouted as he backed into a corner, red in the cheeks from knowing what the perverted old man wanted from him.

"All you have to do is bend over and i'll do all the work." The man explained, caressing his own junk.

"No way you're sticking your dick in my ass!" Gilbert said as in defeat. The man began to undress and reveal his old,wrinkled erection. Gilbert laughed as soon as he saw it.

"It looks like my un-ironed shirts." Gilbert teased, a hand on his stomach.

"Well, you won't be laughing as soon you get a feel for it in your little asshole." The man moving closer to Gilbert.

"What the FUCK is this?!" Mr. Floyd said truly disgusted, staring at the both of them with angry eyes.

"OH, my pants just fell that's all." The man made up a excuse.

"Just a sec, let me clean the bullshit out earbuds." Mr. Floyd said as he literally clean his earbuds of bullshit which was actually earwax.

"You'll never catch me alive!" The man said as he push Mr. Floyd out of the way but to his surprise, he got penetrated in the butt with Mr. Floyd's golden golf putt which caused him to pass out. Mr. Floyd sighed and allowed the sacrifice of his golden putt to be in the man's butt.

"You ok?" Mr. Floyd asked as if he cared.

"Duh, i could have taken him." Gilbert said boldly. "Yeah, in the butt." Mr. Floyd said to himself while laughing a bit.

"Hey Gilbert, see if he has the keys to his truck on him." Mr. Floyd semi-commanded. Gilbert did as he was told and found them.

"Well that was easier as expected." Gilbert said with relief. They both hid him in the barn, ran to the truck and sped out of the front of the house and are now on there way to Las Vegas.


End file.
